A Research Essay
What you’d usually hear is the argument on how hard it is to be raised by immigrant parents in the American’s territory. I for one would agree that it is hard to grow up that way. On the contrary, have you ever heard of the opposite view? How sad it is to be raised by immigrants and still only know the slim basics of your culture. It requires a delicate balance between embracing the opportunities and values of American culture while cherishing the cultural heritage passed down by my immigrant parents. I cannot recall anyone who has expressed the shame of being Americanized, to be “typically” American, to abandon your blood to live the American dream. It isn’t easy going back home; to your roots and feeling excluded from all conversations. It’s hard to go back home and be easily spotted as an American. In instances like my cultural roots, the Dominican Republic, you’re prey for either jokes or money. Things like this mess with your identity. At times, I look at myself unsure if I am even worthy of being Dominican American. So, I call myself American-Dominican.
I shall set the contrary to perspective. The life of growing up an immigrant isn’t easy. Amy Tan shows this exceptionally well in her writing “Mother Tongue”. In this piece, Amy Tan explains the troubles of growing up with a mother who spoke “broken” English and how that has affected her writing and her as a person. It raises questions about the fairness of these expectations and the need for a more inclusive understanding that values diverse linguistic expressions. She goes on to say, “English limited my perception of her. I was ashamed of her English,”. This goes to show that being an immigrant and growing up with a limited version of English is so easily seen as shameful. After this, Tan continues to explain how this broken English that her mother had, made so the people around her never took her seriously.
Conversely, the experience is the same on the opposite side. Growing up Americanized made it so that when I tried to converse with my people I wouldn’t be taken seriously.
This past summer, I traveled back to the Dominican Republic over the summer for 2 months. In that experience, I found myself isolated. Similar to how Tan describes her opposing experience. We both felt shameful for not being able to use language in the way that it was meant to be. This shame brings the need to constantly review your knowledge of what you know your language to be. This brings me to Melissa Lozada-Olivia in her spoken poem, “My Spanish.” where she articulates what her language is. Lozada-Olivia voices how her language and the way she speaks it embeds itself into her life without having to speak the language fluently. She perfectly explains that even with the shame of not being able to express your culture in the way it’s expected you are still connected. My Spanish is broken. Or rather, my Spanish is who I am. I lived as a hybrid of two identities which never flowed smoothly. One shall always doubt the other. Whether it be in authenticity or fluency. I am too American for the people of my blood but too Dominican for the people I reside with. In the event in which I polish and mend this “broken” language, it seems to never be enough. So then, I live a life of ambiguity, never to see my identity as one. Always to be perceived as two different stories. Never to be accepted as one. Just like Tan, she and her mother spoke English but to everyone else, it never seemed to be fluent enough. My Spanish follows my shame. My Spanish never seems to be fluent enough.
Society can play a pivotal role in supporting individuals on their journey to reconnect with their cultural backgrounds by fostering a more inclusive and culturally aware environment. Now, I can see a question that can be brought up. If it is so hard growing up unconnected and not culturally aware of your cultural background, why not learn about it? Which is a valid question. To that, I say to think of how we as people were enlightened about our culture in general. That would be from our dear parents. The author, Mónica Fernández, illustrates this in her writing about a book called “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” by Junot Diaz. This book explains the life of a Dominican family with Dominican-American children and what that life experience looks like. In this writing, J Mónica explains the “broken identity” the characters face. These characters live a life that is not fully acquainted with their cultural background and thus they seek their own culture through their family. The use of the word “broken” identity is something extraordinary. It perfectly describes the tribulations of growing up with a flawed sense of cultural identity. Mónica Fernández goes on to explain how, “ The condition of the children of immigrants living in those neighborhoods is fragmented, apart from being segregated from mainstream Americans, they often do not feel connected with their roots either because of their parents’ silence.” Due to this silence, people like me tend to live a life of humiliation. Being disconnected from your roots causes a life of longing and searching for what runs in your veins. It leaves you with this broken identity that cannot be remedied alone. Having support networks that commemorate diversity and encourage open conversations can alleviate the sense of isolation that may accompany the struggle to reconnect with one’s roots.
I’d also like to bring up the point that not only do I have opinions on the struggles of this broken cultural identity. As we know, Twitter ( now known as X) is a widely used social media platform where people can post their strong opinions as they please. Twitter user @Geerelis did just that.
Though it is fun how this reply was worded there is still something so impactful about this post. Geerelis is a Dominican woman living in the Bronx of NYC, a predominantly Dominican Burrough. With (approx.) two thousand followers she enjoys posting strong opinions about “controversial topics”. Such as the role of women, and the picture above! Geerelis’ opinions are agreed upon, seen by the whopping 1,993 views on this post alone. This post in and of itself is so relatable for many viewers who have grown up disconnected from their roots. The mention of identity crises brings up a great point of how growing up disconnected results in constant questions about yourself as a person. For example, we explained prior with Tan how you aren’t taken seriously, and with Mónica Fernández how one longs for the information one’s parents keep from them that could connect them with who they are.
The experience of growing up Americanized is an experience that is never accounted for when it should be. The struggles of growing up without the foundations of culture are truly difficult. I’d love for more people to see that living this American life isn’t as gleeful as it is made out to be. I hope to enforce the love of everyone to their own culture. As seen with Amy Tan the experience of both sides is remarkably similar. Both sides have to face the shame of not having the capability to communicate effectively. As well as Lozada-Olivia’s “My Spanish” shows the boundaries of this culture and how it is so restricting in the way that it is so judgemental. To have the constant judgment of not having the “right” kind of Spanish. As I grapple with my identity, I find solace in the shared experiences of those navigating similar paths, creating a sense of community that transcends borders and cultures. It’s a journey of self-discovery and acceptance, acknowledging that identity is fluid. Through these reflections, I hope to contribute to a broader dialogue that recognizes the complexity of being an American Dominican and encourages a more inclusive understanding of cultural identity.
Works Cited
Tan Amy, “Mother Tongue.” English 110, engl110ccny1.commons.gc.cuny.edu/content/tan/. Accessed 13 Nov. 2023.
Jiménez, Mónica F. “The Struggle for Identity and the Need for Documenting History in Junot Díaz’s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.” Transnational Literature, vol. 10, no. 2, 2018, pp. 1-14,A3-A4. ProQuest, https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/struggle-identity-need-documenting-history-junot/docview/2138979587/se-2.
“My Spanish.” YouTube, 6 July 2015, https://youtu.be/fE-c4Bj_RT0?si=5qdMyqjU6xhCp5v1. Accessed 13 Nov. 2023.
G. “I’ve Already Gone through Several Identity Crises as a Dominican-American I Don’t Need Anyone Telling Me What I Am and What I’m Not Just Cuz I Don’t Speak ‘Perfect’ Spanish😂.” Twitter, Twitter, 17 Jan. 2023, twitter.com/Geerelis/status/1615486166689628160.
